How can I not reblog this!?
LAND OF THE FREE
HOME OF THE PRETTY
AND THE PINK CROC’S PINK GLARE
THE HATERS BURSTING IN AIR,
GAVE PROOF THROUGH THE NIGHT
THAT NO FUCKS WERE GAVE THERE
-super deep scared voice- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
THAT MY FRIEND, IS A SILVERFISH. THAT ONE IS ACTUALLY A SMALL ONE. THAT CAN GROW UP TO THREE INCHES LONG AND IF THERE IS ONE ALREADY YOU BETTER SPRAY OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THERE IS A SMALL NATION IN YOUR HOME RIGHT NOW.
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SILVERFISH IS THAT? O~O
OURS DOWN HERE ARE LIKE
A CENTIMETER LONG.
AND THEY ARENT THE COLOR OF THE FIERY DEPTHS OF HELL.
HOLY FRICK. I’M QUAKING OVER HERE.
THAT IS NOT A SILVERFISH THAT IS A HOUSE CENTIPEDE
REAL SILVERFISH ARE TINY AND DON’T GROW LONGER THAN AN INCH THESE CREATURES WILL LITERALLY EAT SILVERFISH AND SPIDERS FOR BREAKFAST
THEY’RE VENOMOUS AND THEIR BITES HAVE BEEN COMPARED TO A (mild) BEE STING
They’re considered good bugs, since they take care of the silverfish and spiders, but they’re still terrifying and I’d suggest burning that toothbrush as soon as it leaves.
My family calls them mustache bugs, for obvious reasons.
My mother is terrified of them, and since I’m the only one with the balls to kill bugs, I’ve learned that despite looking like they crawled off a pedophile’s upper lip, they have very flimsy exoskeletons, and so a flip flop (thongs, sandals, whatever) works very well with squishing them without getting to close. Just use a piece of tissue to get rid of the mangled remains of the deceased.
WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU ALL LIVE BECAUSE I’M LIKE 24601% SURE WE DON’T HAVE THOSE IN ENGLAND
we have these everywhere inside my school god bless america
youre going to need to use a flamethrower for that toothbrush and yeah these used to only be in the storage room of my basement but now i find these on my bathroom sink when i walk in late at night and they scare the shit out of me when i turn the light on jfc
sometimes we call them jurassic park bugs for obvious reasons
also their body parts twitch for like 30 minutes after their amputated and its fucking gross i just no fuck this im moving to london